OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize