you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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