id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
