You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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