I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
