My nipple is on Facebook.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
