Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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