ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
