SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
