i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
