Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
