I hate your face
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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