This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize