i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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