guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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