I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
