no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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