I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize