I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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