I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
