Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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