Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
