Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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