sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
