For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
