The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
where are you?
Hypothermia
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
