Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
