I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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