i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
