You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
now i know why i became what i already was.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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