Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
