how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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