Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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