Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
