He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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