Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
