Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
