He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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