he wants to bone in the snuggie
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
