no, he came in my armpit
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
