He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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