member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
