my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
