and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize