And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
