I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There r osticjed everywhere
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
