i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
