That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm jealous of your bromance
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
