Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
