Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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