Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
