very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize