Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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