Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
